Friday, January 21, 2011

Transitions

So after almost two years you have contacted me.
Aside from the comment of feeling harassed it was a clear email
Clear in the way you once communicated with me
Straight forward, without doubt or question
Goals are clearly laid out and I know what to do with it

It of course deals with the money
Our final closure
It is a nice thing
A surprising weight feels as though it has been lifted

However, it leaves me with thoughts and question
It is obvious that you are now this clear (and this is known already)
That you have moved on, there is no need to banter or hide
There is a shift back to the clear headed you leaving me in the dust

But I question, where was this clarity when it all started to fall apart
Why could you not have expressed with clarity your confusion
and what you wanted to do about - even if that was to be left alone?
I question, why did you need to string me along?
Why not face the reality and share the truth?
Did you have to drag it out and hide?
Could we not have solved this so much earlier?

and so the questions go.
Answers never to come.
But at least I have the solace of this clearing up
A point of light at the end of a tunnel that says
"Very soon I will no longer need to question, the weight is gone!"

It is sad solace looking back on the fact that I wanted to marry you
But it is solace none the less.