Must be

something better for me on the horizon

It does not feel like it but

I cannot believe that you were my swan song

Some days are good, some are bad

Soon another will be in my life

All will be good

For now, just time to relish

Spending time with me

Feeling

I don't know

I miss you

I hurt

But reality speaks to so many "negative" things

I look to move forward

I feel alone

I feel it won't ever happen

I don't see myself with anyone

I spend so much time solo

I question my ability to interact

To communicate

I don't know

I wonder

How did we affect each other?

How did it change?

I think it does not matter

I think

I don't know

Just a hollowness

Tolerance

I have the ability

skill

power

or is it stupidity

lack of worth

short sightedness

to deal with

accept

and tolerate

people long after

everyone else

I know

would walk away.

Forward

There must be something more

something better

something which suits me perfectly

(there is no perfect only perfect for me)

Not getting what I want

Which means forward there is something

That will fulfill that

Forward!

Contact

A year goes by

Limited contact

A few lame attempts to suggesting we work it out

No follow through

Silence

My pain, my misery,

Confusion, no explanation,

No understanding

Attempts to solve

Working solo for a year

I start to come to my senses

Accept you are gone

That your words are lies

I stand up

Write a goodbye email for me

and you respond

The only reason I write you say

Is to manipulate and get what I want

I wonder if you read anything in the past year

If you took time to look at us

Because all the emails say the same thing

"Please talk to me so we can figure this out"

Empty

The time has come where I have said

No more emails

No more contact (barring business)

I have sent my last one and stuck to it

There just comes a time when I accept the action

The words are empty

I know this

I can see this

It indicates that what we had may have been nothing

It is without question time to move on

Yet, inside my soul feels empty

I feel hollow

I feel missing

I feel some of me is truly gone

It dampens my spirit and

In some ways I feel I may never get it back

That I am not competent enough

To hold those feelings for anyone ever again

Each day I wake up

You still run in my mind

Each night I rest my head

You are in my thoughts

Time for you to go away too

Fully

Time to feel truly empty

How have...

you been treated lately?

A question in reference to you.

The answer, horribly, still no response.

I know it is done. Sad when all that was asked for was simple courtesy

Even if it was a goodbye.

I have been letting go but that gave me misty eyes.

I look at who presents themself to me lately

I just don't get excited, and I wonder if I ever will.

I really did give it all.

Better to have loved and.....

Frustration

All the things I am looking for are here

All is well

The things which cause me stress are not present

This is great

Why am I frustrated?

Because I want to share and experience it with someone

A special person

That is the part which seems to elude me constantly

They say we create our own worlds and destiny

I think I believe this

So why do I keep creating something in which I am frustrated

Lacking in one aspect or another?

That is the part which makes no sense

Why create that which we find disturbing?

It perplexes me and not sure how to remedy it!

Lately

I have been effected by excessive longing

Missing you

Wondering why

Wishing you would get out of my head

So I could just move forward and get something so much better

Cause you sure are not it with the silence and lack of communication you hold

Moving

Tomorrow

Hard to deal with it in some respects

Glad to get a good place

New start etc.

Sad, confused as it is not with us.

Never

Thought I would say it

It may be temporary

But I don't really think so

I am fed up

Tired

Beat down

I don't need to question

I know the answer

I would like to hear you say it

But know I will never

You don't have the courage

To stand up and be the person you said you were

You don't have actions to support what you told me

You are not the you I know

In that I just accept

I don't really miss

I don't really hurt

I don't really anything

I am numb for it all

Wasted time?

No I don't regret

It gave me more things I did not have

Life turning around

In ways I would not expect

But in general I am numb

Not just to you but to all potentials

Why go there?

It does not matter so many lies

No truths in who people are

Action versus words

They don't match

I said it all before I met you

You seemed different

Words meeting action

and one thing goes wrong

One thing you didn't want to face

and your tune changed

Like everyone else

So I have a new theory

That people when challenged with the things they don't want

Become who they are not to deal with them

And get rid of themself who was with you

and the you they no longer want

Why?

Does it still hurt

Does it still bother

Does it still confuse

All questions without punctuation

because they seem pointless and painful without end.

This is truly sad, not tears, but oh my god get over it sad

The sappy love story finished two hours ago.