36

The year is no different than any other
Things have changed from what I wanted/imagined
I am single
A year older
Living in Canada
Not married
Without a full time job
Living in a room vs a house
In debt

But for all of that I have survived
I have friends and family
Those who support
My dream feels a bit closer than ever
Money is present

So for all that feels like I could be shut down
I move forward
For this is life

Trust

I want to trust you
to that last element that forces us to connect
I wish we were not forced to connect but chose to
but you have in silence made it clear that you don't care period
so now I sit tensely thinking that so much of my future
is determined by your action
all this because I chose to trust you in the first place
and now I hope that you retain your trustworthiness in this manner
but as the day draws nearer I am reminded that in all other matters
you lied about your trust and feelings to me
I hope you prove to be the person I knew at least in one manner

I can't believe

That I am still effected by this
eight months
this is absolute sillyness
I think in the end some respect would be nice
but that would be too much to ask
I wonder truly how people work
how they change and become people we don't know