On love

Just saw Barney's Version with Paul Giamatti,

My new favourite film

I am and always have been a romantic at heart

Someone who believes in love and all the trappings of it.

No I don't buy into Hollywood because they always paint a pretty picture

It is the stuff fairy tales are made of

and YES love should be like that but it is also routine, conflict, challenge,

The stuff that Hollywood does not show us

Every now and again I see a film that captures the true spirit of love in my mind

When Harry Met Sally was the first

Contact was the second

and now Barney's Version.

We see people work for it, find it, live it, and deal with it in all its forms

It is what I will one day share, I hope with someone

Barney says to his love

"I am just going to keep talking here because I am afraid if I stop, there will be that pause, that moment, the silence and you are going to say "it's getting late" or "I need to go" and I don't ever want that to happen, ever."

He turns to look at her, they stop, she replies

"There it is, that silence, I'm still here"

To have you still here, who ever you are, even after you see my worst

A dream, to dream beyond all dreams.

Emptiness

I did an audition tonight

It was a really good audition

I am being considered for a role

In a non-union/non-paying production

It is a prominent show and the role would be good on the resume

but it made me feel empty

I fell into a generation where talents were not recognized

where established individuals were doing entry level work

where a beginner had greater challenges standing out and building

As it goes I was good enough to get my union status

but not good enough to compete when I got them

so my resume still is unrecognized

and here I am fighting to get permission from the union

to do a non union show

so my resume will grow

and it will cost me time and money away from work to do it

disheartening

Apples

Where are you?

Where have you been?

How are you?

I wonder

Never knowing you

But thinking of you

Be safe.

Inner Tears

Just saw a movie called Defendor

Simple movie

Simple idea

A simple man who is mentally challenged or slow or not all there

Fantasizes and actualizes becoming super hero

Nothing special about him

He just dresses up and goes out to get bad guys

Because of his challenges his view on the world is different black and white

So he is set on one goal and only that goal

He falls in love and he has emotions

He gets hurt and he falls down

Can a simpleton save the world?

Or does it just take one man with the courage to stand up to another

Justly to start the chain of events that change our space?

It is not Hollywood in this movie and as it came to a close

I found myself with a tear on my cheek