Changes

Nine days ago everything was different
I was stuck, I was stagnant
I had interesting relationships
I had potential that could not be touched
I was afraid I was excited
Nine days ago everything was different

In nine days I have realized I am who I am
I will never mingle the way I expect from TV
I accept that
I am free to be myself
I catch myself seeking approval and validation
I catch myself walking away from it actively

I am my own individual self
I do not need anyone to tell me who I am
I run into problems and I want to call
I catch myself stopping and looking for the answers myself

At one time long ago people would call me Cassanova
I realize I am not that
I am nervous of approaching women I am nervous of doing something wrong
I accept that

I accept that I am who I am
For nine days I have smiled and laughed
There have been moments that things feel overwhelming
But they are okay
There are moments where I just love life

Tonight I looked up at the stars
They are beautiful
Tonight I felt how small I was as I looked at the ocean
I am okay with that
Tonight I reveled in the moon
Tonight I was called crazy and I am
The reality is I am who I am
And fuck you if you don't accept it
For I do

There is a space between making this statement and fully accepting it
But that space is this journey
To take myself as I am today is a huge step
It does not need anyone to tell me I am acceptable
For I accept myself