I am afraid

that i will always be alone

in the closing of my romantinc relationship
with my ex, now just friend
the stepping back made tangible the fact that i am alone
as i look around me everything in my life
career, money, housing, relationship, friendships
feels like i am being dumped

i am afraid that i learned my life lessons to slow
that i will not have time to apply them
and the result will be my being alone

i am afraid, scared, nervous, anxious and worried
i know that all my actions right now are not
as in the past
angst ridden or bitter
but fear based at the prospect of solitude

i want to crawl up in a bubble
where i do not need to take risks
which result in more evidence of solitary