Happiness

I realize that I simply want to be happy
Nothing more than that
Two days ago my future wife walked away from me
Told me she could not overcome our obstacles
The rollercoaster stopped and she got off

I believe she is afraid of facing something real with me
That what we have is true and it is overwhelming
That we can solve and become amazing
Amazing is a scary place if you are not ready for it

In seeing this I realized that she walked away
Regardless of if I am right or wrong
She walked away and I cannot fight or force her to love
So...I am left alone

I know what I want now
Happiness comes by accepting
I want a creative life
Which I have, and can continue to grow
I want a partner who loves me and is willing to overcome challenges
To grow in the face of ignorance and mistakes
To make us better by communication and trust
This will come in time by simply being

Last I learned something wonderful
I learned how to love
I gave my ex everything possible
I got rid of all my safety nets
I learned how to give of myself fully and truly
Right up to the last I continued to give without reservation or expectation
I loved, truly

I have been given a gift
And when it comes time to share it
It will be wonderful

I can still say that I love her, for that feeling does not go away
It gives me the strength to always be open to her
To never shut her out, to always listen and be willing to hear
To in that moment be feeling without resentment and interact fully truthfully
Maybe the universe will keep us in one way or another...The universe will let us know
But I know that this love can be placed in a special place
So that I can open to another
Soon, very soon
For today I am alone
There is no point holding onto someone who does not want holding
For that will only close me to the future
Thank you