I have my s**t together

but really what does it matter? I know what I want but it never seems to do me any good. Because for all the knowledge about what I want if it does not mesh with someone else then it is worthless. Which leads to that wonderful question of how to two people really grow together?

You meet.
You go on a date.
You spend some time together.
(step one completed, you have interest in each other)


You spend more time together.
You realize this is not about a few dates or weeks.
You ask a lot of questions.
(step two completed you are on the way to something more)


You get answers for your questions.
You jump for joy the answers are what you want to hear.
You realize you have very similar if not the same goals, dreams, ideals etc
(step three completed you know your connection is deep)

There is no step four. This is where my mind gets a little bit foggy. If after understanding that you are on the same page as someone, that you enjoy the person's company, in general you like who they are, then isn't this the time when things naturally fall into place? (granted you continue to work on things) But people change, ideals get challenged, hopes fall, dreams die, life effects. So when one person begins to change if the other person cannot change with them, or is not welcome in the change then it has no meaning. Why go through steps 1-3 for that to happen?
I thought at one time and maybe still do, that this can be avoided if you put all your cards on the table at the top of the game. Step 1a. "Hi, this is what I want..." if the wants conflict immediately then "..stop right there, before we go any further..." (Meatloaf) you don't need to go any further. I guess the dilemma sits in the fact that if you lay it all out on the line and one person is not fully sure of what those wants are it is pointless to discusss them, you could get burned later. Really even if they are sure, if something happens to change those wants, you still get hurt if you are no longer part of the change.

I guess that brings me back to the question: How do two people really grow together? Is it a mindless hanging on for fear of letting go? Or is it possible to weather those storms of change and still want that person beside you? I no longer have any answers. I need a new chapter for my unwritten book.