Writing

It has been some time since I truly wrote
So much has happened
Tonight I feel like just putting stuff down
I don't think anyone reads this anymore
But that is okay, if you do then feel free to comment

I have been realizing lately that my life is pretty good
I would like to share it with someone who simply put
accepts me for exactly who I am and what monetary status I exist at
if I was sharing my life with someone like this life would be perfect
I recognize that I am still sad because I thought I had this person
but well... there is a lot of posts expressing how I didn't

In realizing this I see that I am getting closer to simply accepting
This is my life, in all its glory
Tonight I went out and did some things I wanted
By myself
I realized that being alone allows me to live according to my means without pressure
and as each day goes past I slowly remove the barriers I see as hindrances
I think by the time my heart says it will allow someone in that close again
those barriers will have naturally gone away

We will see
I still hurt
I still miss
I still wish and hope sometimes
Love is a strange thing
I gave it fully and was returned nothing
not even respect as a human in the end
I wish I had done something horrible so I could say I deserve it
Oh well
So we live
So we learn
So our heart hurts
So our heart heals