At What Cost?

Today I had a gig in Yorkville. Nice area. I looked at a condo there for 3.5million dollars. I walked around and saw all these young couples holding hands, having lunch spending a whole lot of money. I stopped in the drizzling rain and thought I want to spend money, to be free of that concern so I could just let my emotions flow without hindrance of how do I get to the next step, without the competition that makes me sad when my friends move on. As I got a bit wetter from the rain I thought it is easy to make money to change all this, but at what cost? I love to act and this lifestyle does not really allow me the freedom to get a full time job and make lots of money to spend. More importantly doing that does not speak to my creative soul and actually crushes me over time. A few years ago I was so excited because I landed a flexible job using my creative skills that allowed me to comfortably purse acting. I still have that job and two others like it, but the contracts are not enough to meet my meager needs and live just a little. I took the telemarketing job to supplement but still not enough. How do we do it? Pursue what I love and live? It has been my dilemma for 10 years. I think the change can come by putting acting on hold and building some capital but I ask at what cost? I do not have an answer. It seems I don't have an an answer for much lately. If I had answers maybe my life would feel more stable today.