I am not stupid

When I take a look at my life I can see a list of things that are not "right"
for each and everything that I see/identify I know the reason why it occurs in my life
it is a gift/skill that I am able to observe the "problem" and understand its source
I also feel that my identification process is not simple - meaning that I don't jump on the obvious answer but dig to find a root or a source

There is a Buddhist principle that all suffering comes from want
that in wanting something, by its lack you suffer
it is simple
it also applies to my self understanding/evaluation
I narrow down, understand the want, know why it is there, what it does or does not do for me.

What perplexes me
for all that observation and understanding
I seem unable to get past it
I still feel lost, hurt, lacking and unhappy
I have not discovered that art/skill of just accepting thing and being happy where I am

Maybe my goals are too lofty
Maybe my wants are too strong
Maybe I am bound by on outer opinion
Maybe I don't trust myself
Maybe I don't accept me
Whatever the reason this block, the one stopping a daily smile form on my face, is the key.

I have been told that in my quest for this understanding I am passionate
that in not being complacent, by accepting something I don't like, I am brave
that in seeking personal change and growth I am courageous
I believe and understand this.

I hope that in my next step on the quest I am not creating a temporary fix
(as the past feels that way right now)
that this time, that this choice in growth, gives me the insight necessary to walk on and stay on a path in which I will remain happy and feel fulfilled.