I am tired.

Not physically but emotionally

Not in my feelings towards others

But in feelings towards myself

?

Exactly

I am tired of pushing and prodding and fighting and biting and scratching

My way for the things which are necessities of life

I have been dealing with it a lot lately

It has affected me most of my adult life

It effects me more today and right now 

Than any other time in my life

In reality it does not effect me so much 

As it effects you in turn us

This is why it effects me so much

I can deal with anything, my past has shown me that

I cannot deal with my crap effecting others

It is not fair

I smile, I think so much of others, in the way that my simple existence effects them

So in turn I must always speak of me and think of me so that I can change my impact on others

Crazy how that works

At any rate this has been on my mind a lot lately

I recognize and I know that I work to solve and that takes me away

That I get caught up in it etc

I also realize and know that attitude changes many things if not all

So I have been reminding myself that something big is happening this summer

Something big is happening this summer

Let me restate something big is happening this summer

With that said everything will change and be alright

No more in time, no more I want, no more soon

But this summer