Connection

I was at coversation seminar tonight
Something I have always enjoyed doing
There was something that the speaker said that struck me

"connections are the things that fuel life"

I agree with him
I know that right now I am not full of fuel
I haven't the connections
and yet even for knowing that I don't want the connections

More appropriately I am very specific with my connections
I don't care to meet anyone new
I will only get to the same spot I did with my last one
So why do it again
One issue has not changed yet

So going out for these connections is pointless
Equally so it is tiring to go out for the connections to change the issue
I put in a lot of time doing it
What if it is the wrong path
What if?
Point being it is tiring.
So I just want those results to be in my lap
God sometimes I wish I did not pursue the arts
Fuck
Sometimes I wish I did not live in North America
Sometimes I wish I could just come across people who could accept me
Sometimes I wish the people who could accept me had their shit together to accept themselves
I don't think it is too much to ask