Space

I need some space.
First of all I came to Halifax to do my show. As it turns out I also came to Halifax with my ex girlfriend/co-creator/friend. Not the way it was originally planned, but it is obvious that friends is a better place for us. The two weeks have been up and down, mostly up, and the last few days have greatly indicated that in the end our friendship has great possibilities and will most likely work. I honestly did not think that I would be able to write that three weeks ago, but the universe has interesting ways. So all in all that has been positive. With that said it is time for some space from each other so we can fully establish patterns as friends (we have been confined to each other as we know no one out here), time to get back to the real world and interact "normally".

Second, and this is what it really is about. I have been doing my thing for twenty years. As a catalyst to change, doing my show and breaking up were what I needed. I want and need to get away from everything that is familiar to me and spend some time alone. I was able to do it in short jaunts here and know that space alone facilitates me in personal comfort.

A friend implied that I was still trying to impress people and not being myself, thereby, blocking my potential in everything. Another friend commented on my performance, "you tend to build a house and say look what I did as compared to live in the house" These things I know as innately true and I accept them.

The change that exists is one that says I need time to "live in my (proverbial) house". I want to do that and experience that by leaving behind the familiar and going to do something unfamiliar. I want to travel by myself and see things I have never seen. In order to do this I need to change things now. I need to have the capital to spend five months on the road. So in seeking space, I want to get a job, that will allow me to do this. I want to step away from my current patterns and fulfill this path. Next year in July I want to start this new journey of travel.

I am open to any possibilities that will afford me this change.
So I put it out there to the universe,
I want to have the means to travel for five full months next year
without worry or concern as to how to go about doing it.
I want to explore myself in the open space of the world without the burden and concern of money holding me back.
I want to be free of my fears so I can go beneath my issues and uproot them.