Numb Pain

They are not my words but I am using them
Simply because I have become good at it
Music, silence, work and alcohol
All the things I do to forget where I am
What is going on
How I am alone again
How I hurt inside
How my giving means shit
How words mean nothing
and action now seems to mean nothing too
that in the end feelings mean nothing also
for they are not respected or held to
So while I recognize that the one thing I believe in is crushed
That the only time in close to twenty years I opened like this
That all my ideals and philosophies are wrong and useless
And I am being left behind over a lack of understanding and misperception
I think to me
Well that is life and it can crush
We are where we need to be
So for the time being I will numb pain
Oh alcohol! You are my true friend right now.